April 10, 2008

New curriculum for our school

Posted in Humor?, Theology at 3:36 pm by Matt Porter

Teaching school, one often finds that students fail to achieve maximum potential. Whatever the reason, few students actually perform at peak capability. This sub-optimal performance harms the reputation of our school in the community.

After six years of reputation-decreasing mediocrity, I finally broached the subject with my administrator. He was surprisingly open and gave me free rein to explore other curricula which may enhance our school’s reputation by highlighting our educational prowess. More »

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March 19, 2008

The right time to die, and in the eye of the beholder

Posted in Humor?, Points of Interest at 4:30 am by Matt Porter

I’ve always been amused by, shall we say, ethnicity-specific Bibles. The ones complete with pictures of, um, non-Jewish-looking, melanin-enhanced Jesus and Moses and John the Baptist? Well, apparently there may be more basis in fact for those Bibles than I thought!

In other news, apparently this is a bad time to be old and French. Nice to see the mayor is over 70, himself. Wonder if he has a cemetery plot all picked out, or if he’ll have to move out of town. Severely punished……sheesh.

(HT for both to Brother Maynard)

March 18, 2008

Now you can be really, really, really sure…

Posted in Humor?, Points of Interest at 7:30 am by Matt Porter

…that you know you’re saved. Because if you don’t remember the exact moment, you probably never were. I especially like the “twinkling of an eye” mode; it’s great for numerophiles like myself. Is that even a word?

March 12, 2008

From the “Finding my name in strange places” dept.

Posted in Humor?, Points of Interest at 12:53 pm by Matt Porter

Apparently I’ve been promoting March as White History Month. Who knew? And here I thought Presidents’ Day was enough for us pigment-impaired folk…

March 11, 2008

jeesnemPRAY

Posted in Humor?, Points of Interest at 12:47 pm by Matt Porter

Sometimes we pray things without even thinking about them. (Read the links first.)Two phrases, in particular, stick out for Angela and I:

“Dear God, Thank you for this day…”

We routinely started our prayers off with this, until one absolutely HORRIBLE day last month. We had just left the local Chick-Fil-A with a hastily-grabbed dinner, and neither of us felt like praying. In fact, neither of us could start praying, because we couldn’t get “thank you for this day” to come out of our mouths. I believe we ended up with a tag-team prayer that started with “God, this day really stinks!” More »

February 22, 2008

Who needs a music degree?

Posted in Humor?, Points of Interest at 5:14 pm by Matt Porter

…when you can just write great songs through random processes? Scott Adams, creator of the popular Dilbert cartoon, posted a challenge on his blog (nearly a month ago—I seem to be a tad behind the times): contribute up to two lines of lyrics combining random words or ideas. A German band picked up on the post, combining the best of the submitted lyrics and some of their own and setting them to music. A Dilbert fan then took the song and made a music video for it, using pictures collected off the internet. Amazingly enough, the result—”She Amazed Me”—would be indistinguishable from the majority of current popular music if it were played in the background.

Here are the posts with the original recording and the followup music video. It, erm, amazed me. 😛

January 30, 2008

Pictures of Emma’s first debate

Posted in Commentary, Family, Humor? at 6:41 pm by Matt Porter

BennyHinn.jpgPardon the interruption in blogging, if you will. We’ve been busy this week. As the church down the road from us would put it, we’ve been having a “Holy Ghost Revival.” I’m relatively certain that the Holy Ghost was there; as for revival, we’ll have to wait and see. Results from a meeting like this are probably best measured over lifetimes, not days or weeks.

[WARNING: the rest of the post is rather biting. If you don’t want to see me in rare cynical form but still want to see the Emma pictures, follow this link instead. If you want Emma pictures superimposed on sarcastic humor (at least I think it’s humorous), read on.] More »