March 11, 2008


Posted in Humor?, Points of Interest at 12:47 pm by Matt Porter

Sometimes we pray things without even thinking about them. (Read the links first.)Two phrases, in particular, stick out for Angela and I:

“Dear God, Thank you for this day…”

We routinely started our prayers off with this, until one absolutely HORRIBLE day last month. We had just left the local Chick-Fil-A with a hastily-grabbed dinner, and neither of us felt like praying. In fact, neither of us could start praying, because we couldn’t get “thank you for this day” to come out of our mouths. I believe we ended up with a tag-team prayer that started with “God, this day really stinks!”

Then there’s our offering favorite, “Bless this offering for your intended use.” We noticed this one cropping up, oh, maybe a year or two ago, and it’s become the de facto ending for nearly every offering prayer. Well, just before “jeesnemPRAY.” Apparently God doubles our offerings if we follow the budget his CFO sends us. Or maybe it’s just a way of saying “hope we can figure out what we’re supposed to spend this on.” Or maybe it long ago ceased to have any meaning and just is a polysyllabic blur placed at the end of our prayers.

It’s like our school students say at assembly each morning: “Ayeplejaleejantstwothuhflaguvtheeyoonightedstaytzuvuhmairihkuh…” Meaningless to all of them. That’s why they consistently end the pledge to the Christian flag with “life and liberty to all who believes.” If they were listening to words and thoughts instead of sounds, they’d realize “all believes” doesn’t go together.

So every time I start to pray, I have to laugh at myself, because “deergahdthayncuefourthisdae” wants to pop right out, whether I like it or not. Old habits die hard; Lord, help me change, enyuhnemwepruh!



  1. Lisa said,

    But we are thankful for this day! Even if we don’t mean it when we say it… Haha, this is a hard one. I find myself teaching Gabriel the rote prayers too – “Dear Jesus, thank you for this food, a-MEN!” πŸ™‚ I suppose it works for a 2 year old… But when along the line does he really learn how to talk to God? Hummmm…. When do *I* learn to do that?

  2. Lisa said,

    Oh yeah, how does this fit into present the gospel? I’m waiting for the ummm tie in, you know. Waiting for further explanations of your last post too…

  3. Matt Porter said,

    Ah, well, this particular post was just sort of a sudden thought. πŸ™‚ Not at all related to my present-the-gospel idea. Well, I don’t think it is…give me a while, and I’ll probably come up with a connection πŸ˜›

    As for fleshing out my last post, I thought 1300 words was enough for the time being. πŸ™‚ In addition to connecting it to gospel presentation (a tenuous enough connection, I confess), I’ll probably expand on the idea in future posts.

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