January 30, 2008

Pictures of Emma’s first debate

Posted in Commentary, Family, Humor? at 6:41 pm by Matt Porter

BennyHinn.jpgPardon the interruption in blogging, if you will. We’ve been busy this week. As the church down the road from us would put it, we’ve been having a “Holy Ghost Revival.” I’m relatively certain that the Holy Ghost was there; as for revival, we’ll have to wait and see. Results from a meeting like this are probably best measured over lifetimes, not days or weeks.

[WARNING: the rest of the post is rather biting. If you don’t want to see me in rare cynical form but still want to see the Emma pictures, follow this link instead. If you want Emma pictures superimposed on sarcastic humor (at least I think it’s humorous), read on.]

Because of our full schedule, I have been rather lax about posting anything new. So to give the creative juices a rest to regain their vigor, I decided to post some pictures of Emma instead. In my last Emma post, I introduced you to her new hobby of blogging.

Well, she’s been learning from the best theological watchblogs and discernment bloggers out there, and we decided it was time for her to take part in her first theological debate. The stakes were high; it was us versus them. No one actually knows what the topic of the debate was, but we’re pretty sure it was important because they disagreed with us. So without further ado, let’s see how she did! (As usual, click to see the full-size picture.)

EmmaSkepticEmma skeptically listens to one of her opponents as he misinterprets an embarrassingly obvious passage of Scripture. Anyone with half a brain cell to spare can recognize that the non-corporeal aspects of provisionally supra-human angelic entities must be constrained in favor of a synthesized quasi-human manifestation during a temporal incursion into non-trans-temporal locations. Who would have thought such heresy would run so rampant? At last count, I only found three churches that fully understood the implications of this important doctrine!

EmmaPonderEmma ponders an excellent rebuttal being delivered by one of her teammates. As her favorite radio preacher says, “In the original Greek, ‘Rebuke and reprove’ means ‘Sock it to ’em!'” Too bad heretics like these will never see the error of their ways, no matter how often we rub their faces in it. “As a dog returneth to his vomit” and all that, I guess. The work of the righteous is never done; no rest for the weary.

EmmaAgreeEmma agrees with a point made by her team, as a teammate reaches to give her a high-five. It’s such a good thing that we have such dedicated men and women pointing out all the errors the other teams make. Surely without them doctrine would be a chaotic mess! Only the diligence of such pillars of the faith stands between us and the righteous hellfire and brimstone damnation the other guys are heading for.

EmmaCheerEmma cheers as her team’s victory is announced! For now, at least, the evil forces of Satan have been cast out, their puny schemes exposed, their weaknesses exploited, their positions utterly destroyed. Such carnage is not for the faint of heart; but while many people questioned the wisdom of exposing Emma to it at such a young age, we feel she needs to understand the importance of such debates. Besides, we’ve equipped her with the tools to resist all false doctrine, no matter how seductive the argument:

<hands over ears> “I can’t heeeeear you, you NIV-reading Mary-worshiping infant-baptizing heretic!”

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4 Comments »

  1. Lisa said,

    You are insane.

    Cute pictures!

  2. Matt Porter said,

    Yeah, you would read and comment just before I post my Sarcasm Ahead warning. 😛 Great timing! And, yeah, they are cute pictures.

  3. Victor said,

    You reminded me of Calvin playing calvinball with Hobbes. Can there be any meaningful debate with such people? For a while I was so disappointed with the abuses of some of their system of interpretation that I almost discarded the system completely. The crux of things is the system is there to have a method to arrive to a valid exegesis of a passage. I sincerely believe that the heretics (Which originally meant to “choose”) main problem is their actual system of interpretation and how they arrive to their doctrines. In another words, the doctrines are the symptoms of the disease.

    The sad thing is that although heretics are wrong, they are actually making a stand and somehow validating their ideas. How many believers simply don’t care about what they “believe”? Are they Heretics choosing not to choose, or is there a middle ground?

    I am happy that Emma’s team eventually won the game and that they are still some that actually make a stand for what is right.

    My father used to say…

    Soccer is a game were 22 persons playing desperately need to rest, and 25,000,000 persons watching that really need to exercise.

    May be the same can be said of Christianity 🙂

  4. Karla said,

    I will definitely have Dwayne read this one. ha!


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